Chapter 10

The Heisenberg Orgasm
© Eso A.B.

Basil and Jesus, both equal in their love of ‘God’ are dead. As a later blog explains, ‘Basil’ was born of a peculiarity of language: it is still in its ‘oral’ and ‘fluid’ state, while ‘Jesus’ comes of language that is ‘written’ and, thus, in ‘solid’ state.

These blogs argue that human beings of the oral tradition are more atheistic in their way of life (they have no written texts to make them appear to survive themselves), at the same time as they are more consumed and possessed with a sense of the divine. Our ‘atheist’ ancestors, seeing the true colors of their environment more clearly, because less encumbered by virtual reality, thought of life as being more precious than we do and acted on that perception on a daily basis; while human beings raised by the written tradition have come to see themselves as ipso facto deistic particles. Deism makes our thought processes less flexible. The latter state is illustrated by the prejudice exhibited by the hullabaloo accompanying the “God particle”, even though ‘proof’ of its existence is no greater than what Heisenberg propounded nearly a century ago in his Quantum Mechanics theory http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Quantum+mechanical+laws : if you look for a particle, a particle is what you will find, whereas if you look for a wave, it is a wave that you will see. To add some humor: a tomato cannot be a tomato and tomato juice at one and the same time. It is either one or the other, but not both.

‘Scientific prejudice’ constructs God out of its own prejudice. Indeed, so it does. However, because God cannot remain a tomato forever, a ‘historic necessity’ in due time turns it into a wave, an Act, at which stage God is more likely to look like an eel near the shore of Easter Islands, that becomes erect upon seeing a maiden come to the ocean to bathe. Of course, once he has achieved a Heisenberg orgasm (i.e., ‘jumped the cut’ from ‘that’ to ‘who’), he relaxes, becomes transparent, and vanishes.

I don’t know about the reader, but in so far as I write to fix my thoughts for myself, I believe God is with me, from the time I am born.

Like all newborns, at the time of my birth, I was at first presumptuous in my expectations. My behavior indicated that I presumed that someone wanted me to be born into their life. I was confirmed in this presumption by the fact that the woman who gave birth to me offered me her breast. I was nursed, I was cooed and sung to, and arms were put into the form of a cradle so they could swing me back and forth. I heard said that I was grandfather’s grandson and a grandchild to more than one. Grandmother took a special interest in me.

I soon learned, however, that all that I wanted or presumed that I wanted, I could not have. That is when I learned to demand by crying and screaming, an activity that made me conscious of myself and bound me ever closer to my body.

Of course, I did not know what I was crying for. When I had cried my fill and still was not satisfied, my body became weary, drowsy, and brought me sleep. That is when I heard a voice teach me to sing these words: “Now I wish to go to sleep/, Father, lead me to a dreamland sweet,/ Please keep mama and papa safe,/ may I never go for want.”

When I was still small, I had a strange dream. I was floating among pink clouds. The horizon moved in a circle around me. On occasion, I was as if outside the circle, which is when I saw that it was an enormous doughnut shaped mass of clay-like matter. When I was within the circle, it felt as if I the doughnut was sucking me into itself. This caused me a suffocating feeling. I woke up crying, and I did not stop until mother came to comfort me. From the time the nightmarish dream (it repeated itself for several years), I could not sleep unless there was a nightlight beside my bed.

When I was old enough and it was thought that I could be trusted to take care of myself, I took the occasion to fall into the garden pool. It was deep enough to drown in, but I managed to grab hold of the rim of the pool. A friend, a boy my own age, was present when the accident happened. He presumed that I was done for, made believe he saw nothing, and ran home.

On my sixth birthday, my father presented me with a toy rifle. It came with a pink paper roll in which was imbedded explosive matter the size of a match head. When I saw the rifle, I began crying and would not take it. My father had to demonstrate that it was only a toy. I have no idea where the idea that it was a deadly weapon came from. Apparently, it was from something that I had heard or read. I was reading newspapers and looking at pictures of weekend magazine editions at an early age. It was July, 1939, and talk of war was in the air. Germany attacked Poland a few months later.

A few weeks before my eighth birthday, my father took his entire family to live with relatives in a distant part of the country, where I had never been before. When in the winter (1941) my father returned to the city, he was arrested, and thereafter I never saw him again.

When an uncle came to visit us in the countryside, I remember asking him if he could tell me who ‘God’ was. He replied: “You will know, when you grow up.” The answer stuck in my mind, because as I grew older and expected to become smarter, the meaning never became clearer.

Because I read a lot, I knew that at other times, people had believed not in one ‘God’, but many ‘Gods’. Unfortunately, no one explained to me that the Sun ‘Goddess’ was a symbol for light; or that ‘God’ stood denial of Death and was a symbol for when I no longer would be on Earth. Eventually, I began to figure things out for myself, but the tradition of avoiding questions about ‘God’ (except for unpleasant assertions about ‘God’s’ nature by men in black frocks and white collars) assuredly caused a delay in “growing up” and learning about ‘God’ on my own.

Now that I know that people have been as puzzled about the meaning of ‘God’ long before me, and that there has appeared no Einstein, with a theory about the reality of ‘God’, I have come around to thinking that in order for ‘God’ to prove to himself that he is real in an organic sense, he has to die.

Because human life is so short, it means that if ‘God’ comes into the environment of planet Earth, he has to die all the time. Being dead and surviving death to die again is the only way ‘God’, I, and others may prove to ourselves that there is a ‘God’. God does not stand for ‘life’ as some cardinals claim, but stands for humans as a community (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

Only a human being who is a Bogomil, a lover of ‘God’, can prove ‘God’s existence, both, to ‘God’ and to him- or herself through an Act. When all is said and done, God is more real when he has no body or name, but is embodied in an Act on behalf of a community and an Act originating out of a community.